Part 73: Governor Boris and the Band of Fuckups
Governor Boris and the Band of FuckupsWelcome back! Last time on Tyranny, Mattias' dumb ass got impaled by a spike as he betrayed his people to get the power of the Scarlet Chorus they pretty much told him they were not going to give him. Today we're going to wander off to Lethian's Crossing and fall into Nerat's obvious trap.

First, however, there was a request from the thread to help this person impaled on a spike.


This is, of course, because death is preferable to these spiky misadventures.



Nerat is right there and we're killing her tomorrow. I suspect she gets brain drained anyway.
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Fatebinder! Help! I'm being tortured to death and it sucks!
: I need a crime! What have you done, that has been deserving of death?
: I, uh, killed an ox by riding it over a cliff! And my middle name is Kyros, because that's blasphemy, right?
: For taking the Overlord's name in vain you have earned a quick beheading.
: God damn Fatebinder, that's so much better than being tortured! I'd bear you like five children if I wasn't gonna die!
: Probably for the best, we don't want Nerat learning earth magic too.

As you can see, we're still on good terms with the Scarlet Chorus. We don't actually talk to Nerat to pick where we go this time, so we'll ask Seven Toes about their opinion. Seven Toes, incidentally, is the last person standing between the player and Nerat when they storm Cacophony in one of the other routes.













Very funny game, you know I don't get that choice.




The Chorus philosophy in a nutshell, folks!


The thread voted for Lethian's Crossing next, which is a shame as the Burning Library has one of my favorite Nerat moments. Oh well!



TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Hey, why are those prisoners I took care to bring in alive impaled on spikes up the ass?
: Look, man, it's Nerat. He's on his own mental level, ok? We'll all end up there eventually.
: Impaled on spikes?
: Life is nasty, brutish, and short, and Nerat is nuts! Enjoy the ride!
: This couldn't possibly have any relevance to me. I'm off to Lethian's Crossing! Toodle-doo!

Sybil is still here, if you were wondering.

We get a different missive for Verse's quest because Nerat is our "friend", but I'm probably not going to do any of the companion sidequests this run. Lantry requires us to go do the dogshit DLC and we've seen both Verse and Barik's.
On to the Crossing! Last time we played the game we had to slaughter a bunch of Bronze Brotherhood members who wasted our time whining about how we were banned. This run we turned the city over to the Scarlet Chorus, and, uh...
Earlier in the game posted:
So, we're on good terms with the garrison and get saluted instead of having to trash a bunch of mercenaries. However, the actual Crossing itself is having some issues.


These two never get names so I'm not giving them portraits.




Once again, the Kyrosian forces are incompetent fuckups to the point where people are actually wishing that Raetommon, a stupid insane clown with no regard for human life, would return. It's rather ironic, as Tunon goes out of his way to promote Kyros as a viable alternative to the sad band of reactionaries that used to run the Tiers, and then the Chorus goes and does shit like this.

We do, unfortunately, need to deal with the Chorus. These two just give us basic directions and complain about how the Chorus is running everything into the ground, so we move on and I cut most of the rest of their dialog.

Except this! The game is very insistent that Kyros' tyrannical practices ruin everything she touches, and I would be remiss to point out that the Empire is sabotaging its own productivity and tax revenues to maintain the polite fiction that Kyros is somehow in control despite two of her armies waging a civil war.

It's time to talk to Harchiand Bronze again.



The next event in the main quest fires at the forge, but I put it off to wander the town and adjudicate some disputes.



Remember, this is the man who - on Nerat's direct orders - armed the rebels with iron weapons. There's not much we can do with him, and we're under orders from Tunon to befriend Nerat so he lets something slip.

TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Hey, Fatebinder, need some goods?
: Nerat said to talk to you. What's the low down around here?
: Go to the forge, that's where the master is.
: What do you think of the Bronze Brotherhood?
: I'm totally not colluding with them! Honest!
Whatever. This entire empire is corrupt.

You'd think you could find a few Chorus members who want cushy garrison duty instead of fighting rebels and fascists with magic armor.







Well, one of these people is critical to maintaining Boris' powerbase, and the other is some random merchant, so...




Yes, actually, it does. Remember how a lot of other adjudications had us spouting off about trade permits or Tunon telling us about the quota law?
It's odd we don't get the option to ask Tharek to produce a trade permit, but revoking it is presumably within our power as a Fatebinder, especially when said trader refuses to supply the Kyrosian military with sweet discounts.



We don't know who's telling the truth here, and we're not really in a position to find out.




This is of course complete horseshit, but it's the kind of horseshit we enabled, so Boris doesn't get to complain.








The first option is in direct violation of Kyros' laws, the second option is gonna get us Chorus points, the third through fifth just piss off everyone.



TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Fatebinder! Help! These Scarlet Chorus jerks are trying to get a discount out of me!
: I'm working hard! I'm working on weekends! I'm protecting the city! Look at all the things the Chorus did for you, such as
: Welcome... to the Adjudication Station! Tharek, what's going on?
: Well... I'm a loyal citizen and Kyros stan...but I can't just give Kyros' army discounts, right? It would set a bad precedent!
: Would your business suffer from giving the Chorus discounts?
: Not really, but my prices are fair, aside from the occasional BFF discount we all give around here.
: Come on man! You've got the best stuff, our quartermaster constantly fucks up, and this won't hurt your business that much!
: Well, as the Overlord and her representatives regulate all trade... yes, there's now an army discount. Be sure not to abuse it!
: Thanks, Fatebinder, we'll be careful - I don't want a spike in my ass.
: Try any shit and I'll fuck you up!

Note that the Chorus integrates Beastmen into its occupation forces. Given that the Tiersmen fucking hate Beasts and murder them for food and entertainment, it's not really a surprise that the Chorus burned their shit down.








TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Screw you! Everything is just fine!
: How's the Bane?
: On one hand, fuck you for making us fight them, but thanks for helping me get that promotion!
: Anything else I should know about?
: Lies! It's all lies! Uh, there's been a very minor problem with the Bronze Brotherhood, who would be great Chorus members, but I totally dealt with it!

Eldian is not in his house, and more importantly there's nothing there worth stealing.

It's not an accident that we put the Chorus in charge and suddenly everyone needs us to sort out legal issues. What, conscript armies are shitty at occupation? Pffft!


The Forge-Bound are sworn directly to Tunon, so I'm not sure how that even works?
























Eh? It's not like Wenhaver put in the money to acquire them, and stealing is less laborious than smithing.

Now, you might be remembering that the law of Quota and Sharing is supposed to ensure no one goes hungry. No one mentions this, because, again, the actual purpose of the sharing law is to enforce local control over trade and enable corruption. As Tunon hides in his nice bubble and sends the Fatebinders out to do the dirty work, he never encounters realities like this. It's not like we're going to tell him, either, because Tunon was very clear that criticizing the laws gets you killed.




Uh huh.


Lady, there is literally an entire market full of merchants below you.







We have a lot of options here.


TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Fatebinder! Help! I am trying to put this thief in jail but the Scarlet Chorus is trying to draft her!
: Screw you! We need her for our gang, but I can promise it's gonna be brutal!
: Xenia, the lowdown, please.
: My stuff went missing for weeks, but I didn't report the theft because I thought it was another Forge-Bound stealing things. She didn't take anything super valuable, but it sucked.
: Ok, Half Scar, what's your side of the story?
: Oh, we've been watching her steal stuff to see if she'd make a good gang member, and I think she'd be pretty great!
: Ok, thief, what's up with you?
: Well, I lost everything when Kyros invaded! I tried to get a job with Xenia but she said I didn't have enough work experience! So I stole her shit and sold it to Half Scar! Ka-ching!
: Yeah, uh, you're going to work off your debt and then be drafted into the Mad Max penal legion.
:


As we don't have a reputation for running the Tiers defying Kyros Zdenya is a lot friendlier towards us.


Of course, our mission here is to deliver Zdenya to Nerat to be impaled on a spike. Integrity? What's that!



Oh, this gets better and better. Nerat's having us act directly against Tunon as both a test of our loyalty and a trap to bind us more tightly to him. Of course, we don't have Archon's Privilege, so if this goes south we get thrown directly under the bus.






So not only was this mission ordered by Tunon, we have to kidnap the best smith in the Empire whom Tunon, second only to Kyros, keeps on retainer. This keeps getting better and better!






We don't get a chance to move before Eldian shows up.


Damn! It's not really clear from the way Eldian says it, but he's taking a massive risk making this request of the occupation governor here.








We wander over and the Helm shoots a magical green laser of glowy shit into the door below.

The game immediately railroads us into going into the Oldwalls, despite Tunon being emphatic that under no circumstances are you to go there.



There's no way to get out of this, and logically we should be able to bring up the fact that this is super illegal and is a death sentence for everyone involved. Sure, we, uh, went in there earlier to unlock the Spire, but we didn't do it at a ceremony with all these witnesses. Oh well, lore XP I guess.


This is a terrible idea because it gives them kompromat.

TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Damn, you're the Fatebinder who took Sentinel Stand. How do you feel about bald women?
: Why are you here?
: Oh, I thought you knew? Tunon himself sent me to build an artifact to protect the Forge-Bound from the Bane. We keep losing our people and missing production deadlines, so this hat will protect us forever.
: Why a hat?
: We make armor, not statues.
: Why you?
: As the Master of the Forge-bound, I am literally the best and Tunon himself asks me to make things.
: How'd you become the master?
: I loved smithing, so I took a bunch of risks and did experiments to make me the best smith in the Empire, something I'm sure won't bite me in the ass when I go too far.
: How do you feel about stakes?
: I gotta go, we can continue this discussion later. Come to the hat ceremony!
: Hey, Fatebinder, you're cool and all, but could you maybe get rid of the Scarlet Chorus? They fucking suck! Well, at least you're taking Sirin, praise Kyros.
: Hey!
: Uh, we enjoyed your stay, I mean. Anyway, if you don't want some juicy exposition, come to the hat ceremony!
: Hey, now that the hat ceremony is almost done, can I ask you to violate Kyros' law about the Oldwalls in front of all these witnesses?
: Wait, you're just going to let the hat sit in the open where anyone can steal it?
: Nuh uh! I'm gonna do magic and stuff! But also, we need you to do that extremely illegal thing that Tunon will personally kill you for doing in front of all these witnesses.
: This is illegal, you know. But I'll do it, because I'm pretty sure if I don't Tunon punishes me for ruining the mission. Maybe Nerat is right and all these laws really are stupid dumb bullshit.
Granted, we've been in the Oldwalls before, so whatever. It's another Catch-22 legal situation: Tunon ordered us to set up the Magebane helm, but we can't do that without going into the Oldwalls. If we don't do this we probably defy Tunon's orders, but if we go in we violate the prohibition on the Oldwalls and thinking outside the Kyrosian box.

This isn't a good sign!

The Bane break out of the traps, threatening the Crossing and subjecting us to the sheer boredom of Tyranny Combat.

Once the bane are dead Killsy mocks the hat.

Raetommon steals the hat again...

We're given the option to betray the Scarlet Chorus, but we've seen that path already, so I take the second option. It plunges us into more Tyranny Combat.

We saw all this last route.

Tier Smasher is impressed with how we 360 no scoped all of the random mercenary losers.


Tier Smasher immediately runs off to speak with Eldian, once again dumping everything on the Fatebinder.

We end the update with Raetommon bragging about his idiotic plan and eating a rock to the face.
Next time: How many Bronze Brotherhood members can we personally slaughter?